The Rebecca Black Phenomenon

By now you have to know who Rebecca Black is. If you don't you must have an pretty epic life that distracts you from perusing the Internet all day. Here's the video:

The critical reaction can be summed up by Kevin Rutherford of Billboard:

Black's video for 'Friday' is one of those rare occurrences where even the most seasoned critics of Internet culture don't know where to begin. From the singing straight out of Auto-Tuned hell to lyrics such as 'Tomorrow is Saturday / And Sunday comes afterwards / I don't want this weekend to end' and a hilariously bad rap about passing school buses, 'Friday' is something that simply must be seen and heard to be fully appreciated.

Black's failure has become her success. Her YouTube video has been viewed millions of times, she has been on The Jay Leno Show The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and her song has earned over a million dollars in buys off iTunes. How can such failure be rewarded? It's happened before, remember William Hung? America loves train wrecks. This, and his fucking amazing night life, is the reason Charlie Sheen is so popular now. To fully appreciate the cultural significance of Rebecca Black we must realize what the song actually is:

"Friday" is the greatest piece of unintentional cultural satire I've ever witnessed, for three reasons.

Reason One: The Power of Tween Pop Stars Mustn't Go Unchecked 

She, herself, is a symbol of the ludicrousness of tween pop stars. She's something the comedic terrorists that are currently writing Scary Movie 5  would have dreamed up in between their 8th and 9th bong hit of the morning. I'm sure the brain trust of Ark Music Factory, Black's label, probably had this conversation a few times:

Employee: I found this Indie rock band that would be a great addition . . .
CEO: God damn it I'm not going to say this again, find me a female Bieber!

Ever since Miley Cyrus scored her own show and Justin Bieber hit it big on YouTube, there was a Rebecca Black looming. Every time Cyrus sold out a concert, for every week Bieber trended on Twitter, for every sequel to High School Musical, Black was getting closer to invading our popular culture. Hell, I don't even fully blame the record companies anymore. I blame the tweens who listen and their parents who fund their obsessions with these singers. To quasi-quote Alfred from The Dark Knight:

You crossed the line first. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation they turned to a (girl) they didn't fully understand.

I'm not actually blaming kids for listening to music they like, it's better than them experimenting with recreational drug use in the 7th grade. I'm just pointing out that they created the demand that led to record companies striving for anyway to capitalize on the immense success of tween pop stars. Their desperate attempt to find the next big star focused on various factors such as "marketability" and clearly not "musical talent."

Reason Two: The Real DOA?

In 2009, Jay-Z released a song called Death of Autotune (D.O.A). In the song Jay was talking about how auto-tune needs to die. A few lyrics from the track:

This is anti auto-tune, death of the ring tone / this ain't for iTunes homie, this ain't for sing-alongs

Y'all (I'm white, I can't type this term) signing too much / get back to rap, you T-Pain-in' too much

Personally, I enjoyed this track because I hate what auto tune has done to music.  It was nice to hear a mega star say what many of us had been thinking, it also helps that it is an awesome song. If Jay's goal was to abolish all auto-tune, Black is his biggest ally. Her voice is horrifically auto-tuned in the song, so much so that I am unsure if she has any musical talent at all. Auto-tune is rampant today, allowing people who really shouldn't be signing to dominate our radio airwaves. Many say its killing music, I tend to agree.

If you're interested in a more in-depth look into just what auto-tun can do, watch this enjoyable six minute video from NOVA:

Watch the full episode. See more NOVA scienceNOW.

The absurd levels of auto-tuning in "Friday" is another bit of unintentional cultural satire. It sounds terrible, but also in line when compared to today's pop music landscape. Her video serves as the extreme of what would happen when we try and find music stars for reasons other than talent, and try to artificially insert that talent in the studio.

Reasons 3: It's All About the Beat

Music basically comes down to three features: production (the beat), flow and lyrics. Lyrics are the most important part of a song - unless you are trying to sell records. Commercially, a song with great production and flow will always trump a song with great lyrics. For Exhibit A I present "I Got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. The Peas are music superstars. In seemingly every one of their songs Will.I.Am drops the beat, girls want to dance, the chorus is recognizable and no one seems to care that their lyrics are horseshit. The most offending verse of Black's song is:

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after ... wards
I don't want this weekend to end

Yet how is it that different than these lyrics from "I Got a Feeling"?

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday

we keep keep keep keep going up
we know what we say say
party everyday

 and

Let's Do it and do it and do it 1
and do it and do it 2
and do it and do it and live it 3
up and do it, do it
4
do it, do it, and do it 5
and do it and do it and do it 6
and do it and do it and 7

Fuck, after reading those lyrics I would assume Rebecca Black was the one performing at the most recent Super Bowl and the Black Eyed Peas a band only famous because of the amount of ridicule they received through social media outlets. Black is the laughing stock, however, because the song is horribly produced. If Black was given a good enough beat, her song might actually be selling for the "right" reasons. I guess this is what happens Ark Music Factory is your label.

We laugh at the absurdity of Black's lyrics, yet they serve as an example of what pop music is. Perhaps her train wreck of a song will force people to come to the realization that really good music needs substance, not just pizzaz. Although I'd have a better chance to getting a conservative to believe in global warming.

Don't Hate on Rebecca Herself

I feel as though I have been harsh on Rebecca, but I don't have anything personally against her. She was a product of the system, a record label trying to create the next tween pop star without paying too much attention to actual music ability. It's like the music industry's version of cock fighting - she is a possession of the record label to be thrown in the middle of a ring and see if she can survive, and if she does the label benefits financially.

Every young kid dreams of celebrity and fears public humiliation. There is a fine line separating the two.